Which show to watch at night with your spouse.  What shoes your kids wear.  The grade on your term paper.  Your next meal.  It all falls under the umbrella of negotiation, but we rarely think of the word so broadly.  Failing to do so works to our detriment.

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Most of us would normally only apply the word to instances where haggling or bargaining occurs, like during a car purchase or at a garage sale. The fact is, bargaining is a tactical event may occur within a negotiation.  It is one piece of a larger picture, not the picture itself. 

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By the time two parties start to bargain, the negotiation is often well underway.  It will likely continue after the bargaining is done.

 

By way of example, take a garage sale. 

 

The negotiation starts when the buyer notices a sign on the road and makes a decision to check the sale out.  The clarity and phrasing of the sign sets the tone from the get-go.

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Upon arrival, the buyer makes judgements based on an innumerable series of impressions, some of which might include: the layout of goods, their quality and appearance, the condition of the garage and house, the dress and demeanor of the seller, and the number of people shopping around. 

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If the seller looks organized and put-together, has laid out their material in an appealing manner, if the garage and house looks well-kept, and if people are milling about in an interested fashion, then the buyer knows instinctively that the seller may want higher prices for their goods.  

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Again, most of the judgements made by a buyer are likely lightning-quick and intuitive. The negotiation has absolutely been framed by the seller's level of preparedness - or not.  Further framing occurs when the buyer finds something they'd like to buy and locates the price tag.  If the seller has anchored too high, the buyer may balk.  If the price is reasonable, the seller may determine that asking for a reduction is appropriate.  If there is no price, an agreeable personality might be afraid to ask. A less agreeable personality might see the lack of pricing as an open opportunity to bargain.

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The buyer may use their observational awareness to strategically counter the framing in any number of different ways.  Bargaining is one method available but it is not the only one.  There are many academically cataloged tactics which can be employed during a negotiation.  Knowing which to use is situationally complex.

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The best negotiations settle in win-win compromise.  Success is made when the interests of all engaged parties are thoughtfully considered and communicated well, making the most of aligned priorities and carefully balancing opposing interests.

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Bargaining boils down to a pricing settlement effort.  A negotiation, on the other hand, is a collision of unique stakeholder interests over time. The impact can be overt or subtle, quick or drawn-out, loud or quiet.  It can destroy relationships or enrich them.

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To do well in life and business, we must understand the wholistic nature of negotiation and practice at the art itself.